New Determination

I noticed that I haven't written a blog for a while. The last one was on March 11th so... There are several reasons I can give you but they would be pretty lame. :-) The guys on staff still laugh at one of my comments around the lunch table, "I read a blog once." Writing and reading blogs are not a top priority for me but it needs to be.

Tracey and I were at a conference last week and received some greater, new determination from the Lord. The interesting thing is that the person who made the most impact at a time when we really needed it, lives right in our area. Mark Batterson shared some of the struggles he and his wife went through in starting a church. This was good for us because a person (me) can feel alone/unique in their circumstances. In my head, I know others have had many different trials that are similar and I needed to hear that...again. I was beginning to think "doors are shutting" but they weren't. I am caught in some things that only God can work out for us and it can be uncomfortable. It challenges my ability to trust and depend on Him. But when you think about it, why wouldn't I just trust and depend on Him? I am one of His children, right? On that fact alone, I am set, right? Though some things are not going as we had planned, we still have a church family who is behind us in all these efforts God has orchestrated. Pastor Stokes is still very encouraging to us in our efforts and we really have nothing to fear or dread.

It is interesting that while I am going through this, my Bible reading plan is taking me through the book of Joshua. Isn't that incredible! This is a guy taking on a big challenge of taking the promised land and needs the encouragement to "be strong and courageous." I need to hear that and have been hearing it during this entire trial. I just need to do it now. Which JUST DO IT, by the way, was the series our pastor just preached during the time we were going through this trial! Now I'm thinking...am I just stupid or what?!! (Don't answer that question out loud to me, please. Spare me a dignity...) So God has been speaking to me in many ways and I now see myself in a state of blessing and care throughout my trail.

So...what are my current trials I am determined to get through? Well, we went up to Burlington the first full week of April and found "the perfect house and church building." Seriously, they are beautiful! We talked to the realtor 3 times on the other side of the house deal and let him know our contract was coming. He told us the house has been vacant since February so no problem get it in next week. Then, we talked to a community center in Burlington that would rent to us but another church was looking to rent. I told the person to talk to that church to see if they wanted the space before we took it. She called them and they were only looking so I said, "Great, we want it and we want to be exclusive renters for Sunday mornings." She said I will send you the paper work and we are good to go. We got back into town and talked to our pastor and his wife on Tuesday morning about "all the great things God has done!" Then we submitted our paper work for everything. The VERY next day we lost the house (rented out on the weekend we returned) and the church (that other church came back and wanted to rent here too). What?!! We were so discouraged because we had everything set up so we just had to gather stuff and move up on June 5th. Now we have to figure this all out again and find time to get back up there in May. On top of that, the buyer on our home in VA bailed on Friday afternoon! This buyer was patiently waiting for the bank who had negotiated 3 times with them and coming back with more changes. This was very frustrating but we understand why the buyer walked. They had an offer on our home since October 2009 and enough is enough.

So...these are the circumstances we went with to the conference. Pastor and Karen were as loving and gracious as can be. They showed compassion and knew what we were going through because they have been through many trials too.

I went to the conference wondering what to expect. When Mark Batterson was the first up to share how they lost 2 homes and a place for their church to meet then God gave them National Church in Union Station, I was ready to listen and experience the conference...selfishly. I was looking for things for me and my wife to help us recommit. I got a chance to talk personally to Ed Stetzer and ask him the "what would you do?" question about our circumstances. (Different set of circumstances regarding starting a church without a team but my family.) Then, the conference ended with hearing Francis Chan talk about leaving one church he started to start another in the heart of LA. In the message, he shared a 4 min. testimony his wife gave at their goodbye service. This was very good for us and gave me a greater appreciation for what Tracey was feeling. The bottom line is Francis Chan came to the conclusion that God wanted him to plant this church though he is 40 and pretty set where he is. He came to realize that though he wanted to stay at Cornerstone, he could never again speak of obedience before his people because he was not obedient. At that point, we fell in complete surrender and submission once again to be obedient to our call.

Tracey and I have new determination! We are frustrated with our circumstances and ask God daily to reveal Himself so we can move forward. We know it will change and we need to trust. God is good and we wait for His answers.

Interestingly, as we continue through our trials, my Bible reading plan has me going through another book, the book of Job. Is this incredible or what?!! God gave me a verse last week that I had read over and over but now took root in my heart. "But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold." (Job 23:10) Reaching for the gold now! :-)